(How many of you have parents who believe email exists solely as a big ol' chain letter distribution system? Every once in a while a gem slips through just barely worthy of broader distribution. I got one from my mother this morning which fit the bill. Being from the south, I made a few 'enhancements' to be more relative to today. Enjoy! -- but please do not forward <-- wasted breath.)
It has come to our attention that a few beta copies of Windows Vista Southern Edition RC2 may have accidentally been shipped outside of the south.
If you have one of these, you may need help understanding the commands. Windows Vista Southern Edition may be recognized by the unique opening screen. It reads: Winders Vista, with a background picture of Waylon and Willie superimposed on a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Please also note:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
CD and DVDs are "Them little ol' plastic frisbee thangs"
Instead of an error message, "Duct Tape" pops up.
Changes in Terminology in Windows Vista Southern Edition:
Cancel............stopdat
Reset..............try'er agin
Yes...............yep
No................nope
Find..............hunt fer it
Go to............over yonder
Back...............back yonder
Help..............hep me out here
Stop...............kwitit (WHOA!)
Start............crank'er up
Settings..........settins
Programs.........stuff at duz stuff
Documents........stuff ah done did
Also note that Windows Vista Southern Edition does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to Winders Vista:
Tiperiter.........a word processing program
Colerin' Book.................a graphics program
Cyferin' Mersheen...........calculator
Outhouse Paper................notepad
Inner-net....................Internet Explorer 7.0
Pitchers .......................a graphics viewer
Bubba Tube....................Windows Media Center
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused. If you received a copy of Windows Vista Southern Edition, you may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version: Windows Vista Home Premium Ultimate Redneck Edition (codenamed 'Hee Haw').
I hope this helps all y'all!
Billy Bob
Get er done!